quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
