They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
