I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
