Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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