I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize