I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize