just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.