Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy

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(845): View more from New York

mondays should just be called national damage control day

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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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(630): View more from Illinois

Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!

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