Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my liver is dry heaving
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
