Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
