Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
