they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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