I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
