508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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