I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
