Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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