Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
