Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
