my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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