3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
