So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
