If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
