Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
