Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
