and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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