Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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