i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this will be a night to untag.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
