pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
