Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Michael Bay diarrhea
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
