talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize