nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
