wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
