I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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