Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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