i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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