I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
