More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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