well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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