I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
