we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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