Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
