and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
FUCK WHALES
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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