we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
