You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
