My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
