I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
