worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
