Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
