your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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