so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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