do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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