I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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