WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
