did you get engaged???
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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