wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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