I wish I only lived at night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize