im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
