Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
