I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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