I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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