quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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