too bad you live with your parents still
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
